I was told today that i didn’t know what i wanted. I was told that i was unintelligent. I was told that my life was heading nowhere. I was told all this… then i ran away.
I’ve never ran so fast away from someone before. As if her words were knives that were attacking who i was forever going to be. I wanted her to know so badly that i am not a complete fuck up… but i was defenseless. Everything i could tell her would never have made a dent in what she already felt she knew of me.
So i ran. Literally ran to my car and drove away. She chased me, calling after me, “young lady.”
I’m afraid. Not of my life, but of what you might have to say about my life. It makes me wonder what you see when you look at me: a hopeless mess. No future, because she has set no goals. No goals, because she is afraid of what it will mean when she fails.
I don’t really know what i want to say, because honestly i have nothing to say. You don’t really know me. You've never met me. And that hurts my feelings for some reason.
Who’s to say why it hurts… I leave my thoughts open ended, as if you are supposed to know what goes in the blank...
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1 comment:
Hi!
Actually a lot depends what the conversation was, between the other person and you. It is difficult to understand whether the person was trying to tell you something, was trying to make you understand something or was plainly insulting you.
If it is latter, I advice that you pay no attention to such craps, they just make life miserable.
I believe that each person has his/her goal set, somewhere within, one just needs to figure out.
Just because you have been exposed to this cruel world at the age of 17 does not mean you should really behave like a grown up!
I was much worse when I was your age.
Trust God, He has plans for all.
Silent contemplation might help, try it.
Just don't think too much. Live life, give your best each time and leave the rest for the supreme to decide.
Hope I have not said too much
Best wishes
GBU
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